Local disability rights attorney and activist Stephanie Woodward and her family are getting national attention.
First, a TikTok video of her newborn triplets' homecoming from the hospital went viral. Then, Woodward and her husband Ryan Chalmers' growing family was featured in People Magazine.
The headline read: “Parents in Wheelchairs Welcome 2 Foster Sons, Then Baby Triplets. How They Show Doubters the 'Power' in Their Journey.”
Woodward says what they're doing — parenting kids with love — is nothing remarkable. But she hopes this spotlight can accomplish something else.
The following is a transcript of an interview with Woodward.
I know you've wanted to be a parent for a long time. I'm so happy you're realizing that dream. How old are the triplets now?
They're just nine months yesterday.
Why do you think so many people have been interested in your story?
You know, I think that's a great question. I do think that our story is unique in that we have two foster boys. We lost our first daughter, and now we have triplets. So it's certainly unique in that way. But I wouldn't say that having parents with disabilities is unique at all. In fact, disabled families exist, they exist everywhere, and that we've always deserved to be seen just like every other parent. But I think there's a lot of stereotypes and preconceived notions about parents with disabilities, and the way that Ryan and I show our lives really helps to dispel some myths and stereotypes.
What are some of the misconceptions people have about parents, either like you and Ryan, who use wheelchairs to get around, or parents with any other kind of disability?
I think that there's lots of different stereotypes and stigmas, and some of the most common ones are that, like just blatantly, people don't believe disabled parents can or should be parents, that disabled people just shouldn't parent at all, but somehow we are unsafe, or that our children will have a lower quality of life. And it's simply not true. Whether you have a wheelchair or you have an invisible disability or any other type of disability, people are capable of being great parents, and we need to allow the space for us to do that and parent in our own ways. The way we parent may look different, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.
You've used your social media feed, I think, very well, to demonstrate exactly what you're talking about. Just the other day, you showed how your whole family, all five kids, and you and Ryan were at, I think it was the Museum of Play. You've also showed how there are some adaptive items in your home that help you with the kids. Can you explain what some of those are? They're pretty cool.
Sure. I mean, one of the ones that most people are really interested in is our cribs. So we have adapted our cribs to have them have French doors. So we got standard cribs, and then with a couple of talented woodworking family members, we cut one side to be able to open and shut like French doors. So this allows Ryan and I to be able to get the babies in and out of their cribs without having to reach over the sides of them, which can be hard when you're short as a wheelchair user, but also putting a baby down when they're sleeping. So it's much easier to just slide them in and then shut the French doors. But we also use tools that aren't made for disabled parents, but are really great at being adapted and turned into accessible technology. So we have rotating 360 car seats. These car seats were made for any parent, but they work really well for parents who use wheelchairs, because we're able to turn the car seat to be forward-facing when we're putting our babies in the car seats in, and then just pulling a switch to turn them around to be rear-facing. And it's a lot easier than trying to strap a baby in while it's already rear-facing and having to contort your body.
That is genius, by the way, especially when you have three car seats to wrangle, right?
And there's a lot of car seats around here.
Discrimination against parents with disabilities is an issue that sometimes comes up in custody cases or when people want to adopt or become foster parents. And I remember talking to you about this long before you became a parent. If more people see parents in wheelchairs or with other disabilities living life like any other family, can that eventually change?
That is our hope. As an attorney, I think I've talked to represented parents who have experienced discrimination because of their disabilities, whether it's in a custody battle or whether it is because there is involvement from the county, because of these ideas that disabled parents can't parent. And when we put ourselves out there, we do so very intentionally to try to change the world's conceptions about disability and parenting. So Ryan and I very much recognize that what we do is not special whatsoever. We are very mediocre, boring parents, just like most parents are, but by seeing us parent the way we do, just like every other parent, we hope that first people who question us about our disabilities and our ability to parent will stop questioning. And those people can be your neighbors, but it also can be people in power, people in child protective careers, people in legal careers that often can work against us, removing children from us. But we also hope to show this to parents, or potential parents with disabilities. We want young people who aspire to be parents some day, to see us and say, "Oh, this is possible for me, and I can do this."
